I tried to be helpful again by imparting to mother a little information about her daughter.“She’s actually a little nervous about it,” I said. “Letting her watch turned out to be a lot more educating than we thought it would be. She’s having some second thoughts.”“No I’m not!” yelled Harper. “Don’t tease me like that, telling me I can do it and then jerking it away from me.”“I’m not jerking anything away from you,” said Hannah, calmly. “In fact, though I said it in frustration, now that I think about it, maybe it would be a good idea to get this episode in your life resolved. In a way, it’s like what we’ve just been watching. The past, present, and future are causing stress in our lives, so why not deal with it? Like you said, Carlos and Kiera should hook up. Well, now you’re Kiera and Bob is Carlos.”“I could never be Kiera,” said Harper. “She’s so beautiful and smart and sexy.”“I think you’re beautiful and smart and sexy,” I said, reaching to squeeze Harper’s right breast.“Don’t. “Alright, alright,” you say. “I’ll look for a job.”“Pastor Luke said he has a custodial job you could handle,” she says. “He has been holding it for you, Jake. You had better go take it before he has to give it to someone else.”Glorious Light Church is the mega church that your mom has been trying and mostly failing to drag you to for the last two years. She is enamored with the handsome Pastor Luke. You think he’s about as fake as a three dollar bill, but he does have a super hot wife with a huge rack. Maybe she will be around.“Maybe,” you say, almost to yourself.“Maybe?!” Your mother snaps. “Mister, you had better—““No, I just mean that I have a job offer from Tony,” you say, sort of telling the truth. Your friend, Aiden, said his older brother Tony is always looking for somebody to help with his lawn care business. You know how to mow a lawn and run a weed whacker. Tony is a meathead, but he has always been pretty nice to you.“Well, I don’t know who that is,” says your mother,.
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